Work as a distraction

December 28, 2011 at 6:06 pm (About my process) (, , , , , , , )

I need to get blogging again, I think it keeps me honest.

I’ve been working in the studio, but work-that-pays is stressing me out. I feel they have unreasonable expectations of just how much I can do in a day, but then what if they don’t and I’m just not very good at office work. I take the time to do a good job, and to be honest when I see the person who was before me’s work (who did everything they wanted to have done) it was slipshod and poorly done. So I do think they have unreasonable expectations. ON the other hand, I’m having to fight that awful voice inside me that tells me that I’m worthless and I’m always always always going to fail.

I hate that voice. That voice is a piece of shit, but I can’t get it to shut up and go the hell away. Of course I’m going to fail at times, but I also succeed. So why in hell can’t I remember my successes, only and always my failures?

So I feel stressed out at work, and its the time around winter solstice which means I get to struggle with SADs. So working in the studio has been hard. I just want to hibernate, really. Sleep, read, occasionally eat. Write a little.

Still I must persevere. Today I’m going to go to the studio and glaze my work for the show that’s going up next week. (EEP!) I don’t think its going to turn out how I wanted it to, but I hope it will turn out well.


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Resisting the lure of hiding

December 9, 2011 at 6:02 am (About my process) (, , , , )

So its near the solstice, right? The winter solstice. The fracking cold and long dark night. Evil.

Usually I’m a little on the batshit crazy side of things, but this year I’m trying light therapy and whatdoyaknow? It works. Sort of. Now I don’t feel completely emotional and crazy, but I’m still feeling tired and finding it hard to concentrait. All I want to do is sleep and run away from the things i have to do that are keeping me from sleeping and feeling ok. Like, you know, the show. Or work. Or people. And definitely cooking. Definitely don’t want to cook anymore. Hell… I could do away with most eating.

So its like this light has evened out the moods, but not saved me from the need to hibernate. Nor is it saving me from the feeling of unpreparedness.

Ergh. Back to work.

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Show Prep

December 1, 2011 at 3:02 pm (About my process) (, , , , , , )

I have a show coming up. I’m pretty darn nervous about it, I don’t feel like I’m going to be ready. The things I wanted to do… I don’t know that I can get them done. I kept putting off making sculptures because I was focused on more immediate and financial concerns. I thought I’d still be jobless at this point and have plenty of time to focus on my sculptures.

Ha. What an idiot.

Now I spend every night watching tv and texturing little forms. Not that I’m complaining about being able to do work at home, but this is not exactly how I planned on doing things. I’m also afraid that its not going to look good when its done. ergh.

and I need to make so many more slugs its not even funny. Every time I think I’ve learned my lesson…

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Durn it all

August 17, 2011 at 5:47 pm (About my process) (, , , , , , , , )

My camera was out of batteries. 😦 That means no pictures today, like I wanted to show. *sadness*

I spent my studio time yesterday on mermaid purses, and they turned out all right. Not happy with them yet but it was a good start. 🙂 I also threw another pasta jar.

Right now I’m feeling the urge to be distracted by my naga from my sculpture. I mean, there’s nothing like a deadline to get you inspired on a completely unrelated front. Ah, most beautiful procrastination. This is how my dorm room would get clean in college, how long forgotten projects get done, how my check book gets balanced. I’d be a damn useful motivational tool if it weren’t so stressful in the end.

Anyhow, I’m going to take my camera with batteries to the studio today and get ya’ll some work in progress photos. 🙂

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Creeping progress

August 12, 2011 at 4:15 pm (About my process) (, , , , )

I think I’m a little burnt out after the production work. I didn’t get anything done in the studio yesterday. Gah. I did have other things distracting me, so it wasn’t like the time was totally wasted. Still, frustrating.

So my goal for today is to get 4 pasta jars and 16 mermaids purses thrown/started. The bonus activity will be to trim the pasta jar I already have thrown and to create a test tile to see if I can get that crabby texture I liked so much on the beach. ^_^

In the morning, that sounds like a pretty nice day!

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Pasta jars

August 11, 2011 at 4:08 pm (About my process) (, , , , , , , , )

Throwing pasta jars on the wheel is haaaard. Spaghetti and other long noodles average around 12 inches these days. That means I have to throw a cylinder a little over 13 inches. I can do it now (Production work has done wonders for my skills) but its hard. Of course, I could try throwing it in three pieces instead of two (two jar pieces and a lid makes three) or maybe I just like the challenge.

Its not as bad as it could have been. Spaghetti used to average around 20 inches. o_O well… actually, that might have been easier, since then they either made pasta bird nests out of them or folded them in half (10 inches!)

Still, I should have some fossil style pasta jars coming out. 🙂

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And Crunch time is over

August 6, 2011 at 1:48 am (About my process) (, , , , )

Thankfully. I think I can take the stress of about two weeks of crunch time, which is good to know. Well, crunch time plus a bored husband. If he had more to occupy him, I’d probably be ok for 3 weeks, since I wouldn’t have to be so active in the evenings after work.

Still, thats good to know for future reference. That means that I can probably crunch my way through a single load, probably medium kiln, of work. So long as the work is simple, like this bottle. Or maybe if I did a about 5 large sculptures, or a handful of tiny smooth ones (like this one)

Knowing one’s boundries when working allows one (me) to avoid promising too much, or taking on to much. Alternativly, it keeps me honest too, knowing how far I can go keeps me from being too lazy. I was raised with a lot of anti-boundary propaganda, but I’m finding that boundaries are actually darn useful tools.

Anyhow, I should be back to regular posting next week, now that I’m not so rushed. 🙂

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Day by Day

July 18, 2011 at 4:05 pm (About my process) (, , , , , , )

Right now its high production season in the studio. I’ve got orders to fill, and so I don’t get much time with my creative endeavors. I suppose thats ok because as I research the show I’m putting together, I’m feeling overwhelmed. The water takes up 70% of the planets surface and most of that is ocean. The abundance of life in the ocean almost guarantees that life will survive in the oceans no matter what we throw at it, but knowing what will survive and in what form depending on where it is in conjunction to what human disasters… blergh.

So I’m trying to decide between two approaches right now. The first is a sampling approach: I’m presenting samples of weird specimens from around the world that have adapted after the long running disaster that has been human intervention on the oceans. Some successes in conservation, but a lot of failures.

The second would be to focus on one particular part of the ocean. A specific area in the world. The Gulf of Mexico for instance, or the coast of Japan. (That one would be easier, it’s already a dead-zone. Anything that could survive there can’t be consumed by humans.)

I dunno. still trying to figure it out.

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More Photos on the way

July 12, 2011 at 3:46 pm (About my process)

Last night I was up late photographing work. It feels good having some nice finished pieces. I’ll be posting some of the pictures later today when i’m not on the dinosaur at the studio.

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Post 4th of July Post

July 5, 2011 at 4:42 pm (About my process, Studio and Environment, Uncategorized) (, , , , , )

Hey everybody. Hope everyone had a happy 4th of July. Even those of you not in the USA, where it would have just been a happy day and not a holiday. (Just because its not your holiday doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t have a happy day. 😉 )

I’m struggling in my mind between what I want to do and what I have to do. I want to work on sculptures, but I have to do production. Hell, I have a show coming up and I’ll need to work on sculptures sooner rather than later… but getting paid is good too, and the person only has a limited time in the city.

So its more cups for me, but I have ideas, and I want to try those ideas.

Today is a Chester day in the studio, which means I have a cuddly puppy on my lap. The dogs handled the fireworks well. In Oregon fireworks are legal to sell and set off around the 4th. So of course my nighbors try to burn down the city every year. I’m not very comfortable with it, having grown up in a fireworksless state. Well, that and watching sparks hit a house and a charge going into a tellephone pole just does not inspire great trust in my neighbors ability to handle explosives. -_-‘

Of course, all the smart people went to the big, open field park to set off their fireworks. … there were about 4 of them. Gah.

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